Gone
by abby99jones
Summary: A young girl is caught shoplifting and gets arrested but what will happen when her health takes a turn for the worst? This mainly focuses on Tamzin! :)
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

I stood looking at Karl, my boyfriend as he smuggled a jumper under his coat in a small but expensive shop.

"When I say shoe you run towards the door" Karl pointed to the door "got it?"

I nodded "got it."

We walked slowly around the shop trying to look like everyday people but I was sure that the cashier knew we were stealing.

Then all of a sudden, when I least expected it he said it 'shoe' I ran as fast as I could towards the exit dodging all of the people in my way.

Karl was ahead of me he kept looking behind at me and shouting for me to run faster as security chased us.

"Karl I can't go faster" I shouted back as I slowly ran out of energy.

Karl had made his way out of the door and around the corner to our car waiting for me.

I reached the door but as I stepped outside a police officer grabbed me and forced me to the ground, then handcuffed me.

"Karl" I kept shouting hoping he would return but he never did.

"Right let's get you to the station" the officer forced me to stand up then threw me in to the back of the police van.

I sat in the corner curled up with my hands still handcuffed behind my back.

A short time later we arrived at the station and the officer and a colleague of his got me inside the station and sat me on a small chair.

I could hear the officer at the reception desk "can we book this one in for stealing and hitting an officer."

I froze, I never hit him!

"Excuse me officer, I never hit you. In fact it was the opposite way, you threw me in to the back of the van and when you did I hit my head."

The officer scowled "she's telling a load of shit there"

"Yep like all of the people who come in this place" the receptionist agreed.

"What cell is she going in then?"

"Number three" the receptionist gave the officer a small key.

He walked over to me and pulled me to my feet before leading me to a door, undoing my handcuffs and throwing me inside.

"Bye bye butterfly" he said as he shut the door leaving me on the floor in pain.

I sat in the corner again as that's where I felt the safest and hugged my legs close to me for warmth. My head was pounding after I hit it in the van and I felt sick. I knew if I was to stand up my legs would fail on me and I would collapse on to the cold hard floor.

I decided it would work better if I counted before standing so I could prepare myself "one, two, three" I grabbed the wall as I pulled myself up and I was right my legs were jelly I fell over banging my arm on the solid floor.

I yelped as not only was my head throbbing my now my arm was killing! Then the door opened revealing a kind looking woman officer.

"Are you ok" she walked inside and helped me up.

"Don't let go of me, I can't stand up" I said as she still had her hand around my waist.

"Ok" she continued to support me then sat me on a chair in the cell; it was cold and just as comfy as the floor "I'm going to get an ambulance"

"No! I just need rest" I didn't want to go to the hospital.

"No you need checking over" she left then returned a minute later "the ambulance won't be long."

She stood next to me until the paramedics came just in case I fainted or vomited.

The paramedics entered, it was two women.

"Hello sweetheart, I'm Dixie and this is Tamzin."

I don't know why but I instantly felt like I had known Tamzin all of my life. I gave then a short smile.

"She had fallen on the floor and hurt her arm" the officer said before she stood by the door giving the paramedics some space.

"Can you tell me what happened before you fell" Dixie asked.

I shook my head and kept my eyes focused on Tamzin who was looking at my arm.

"Ouch" I flinched as she touched my elbow.

"Sorry, I think this is broken so we will need to take you in" Tamzin smiled at me making me feel safe instantly.

"I don't want to go in" I looked at her trying to avoid eye contact as it made me feel awkward.

"Sorry but we need to fix your arm" she tried to reason with me but there was only one way I would agree.

"Can you stay with me" I asked Tamzin because I felt like we had a connection.

"Sure" she smiled then turned to Dixie "can we have the frac pack please"

Dixie gave her an orange thing and the strapped my arm in to it making me flinch as it hurt a little.

"Right can we get you in to this wheel chair now" Dixie pulled a wheel chair over and they helped me in to it then took me to the hospital.

To Be Continued! Please Review!

If you have any suggestions for how the story should continue please let me know as I really appreciate it!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

They wheeled me through the doors in the wheel chair which was much comfier than the cell's chair.

Dixie announced "this is… well she hasn't given us her name but she has fallen in her cell at the local police station and injured her arm" they took me in to a small privet room and Tamzin stayed by my side as she promised.

"Hi I'm Doctor Nicholls but you can call me Sam" the doctor introduced herself "and you are?"

I just glared at her not wanting them to know anything about me.

"Come on, we need to know what you're called to help us treat you" Tamzin attempted to persuade me; although I did trust her but not enough at the moment.

"I don't want to" I whispered as they both glared at me.

"Well we can't treat you if you refuse to tell us your name" Sam walked away leaving Tamzin with me.

"Look she needs to know if you're allergic to anything so you don't have a bad reaction to any medication and that requires her to know your name."

"I don't want to tell anyone, please just give me some time to think" I whispered as I didn't want to attract attention myself.

"Fine" Tamzin then left me in peace.

I just laid on the bed thinking about everything that had happened in one day and there was still time for more to happen. I felt the urge to vomit and I tried to grab the bowl on the side but I didn't reach it in time and vomited all over making Sam run in.

"Here" she said as she placed the bowl in front of me "ready to tell me your name yet?"

I shook my head then vomited again "I'm allergic to cat's that's it!"

"Well I need to see your official files just to be sure" Sam replied making me groan.

"I don't want my name to get out"

"But why" I could tell Sam was frustrated but intrigued to why I hid my name and she would have to remain intrigued for a little longer.

"Because it's privet" I turned on my side with the bowl on the side of the bed in case I vomited again.

Sam left again and Tamzin came in.

"I know who you are now; you danced at the strip club didn't you?"

I froze, she had realised who I was and now I know why I felt we had a connection.

"Katy… Katy Pickles" she continued.

"Yeah, sorry" I felt horrid that she had spent her time with me and I never co-operated with her.

"Don't be. I used to be a stripper but now I'm a happy paramedic, who gets a stable wage and I work with amazing people!"

I couldn't help but smile for her success at leaving a crap job and getting one where she saves lives.

"That's amazing… can you tell her that I'm Katy Pickles?"

"Sure" Tamzin left and returned with Sam.

"Right Katy that arm isn't broken luckily but it is dislocated so I will need to relocate it and then you will need a cast on it" Sam walked around to my bedside then injected me with morphine then undid the velcro on the orange thing before carefully removing my arm and she pulled then pushed it before it clicked.

"Right I will get the cast" Sam left leaving me with Tamzin.

We sat in silence until Sam came back and plastered by arm.

"Can you help me? I need to get out of custody and in to training" I felt like I couldn't do what I needed to do on my own so asked Tamzin.

"I will but training in what?"

"Medicine to be a paramedic like you" I smiled.

Tamzin looked at me in horror "why don't you do something you're interested in?"

"I am interested in medicine and I want to be like you" I felt like me and Tamzin had developed a bond in the short time we had spent together.

"Great, I will get in contact with the police" Tamzin left to phone the police.

To Be Continued! Please Review!


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Tamzin returned shortly after calling the police and she didn't look happy.

"Sorry Katy but they said they want to charge you and you may face a prison sentence" those words Tamzin said scared me.

What if I was stuck in prison and then the people who would train me to be a paramedic decided they didn't want to waste time on a criminal?

"You will still help me though Tamzin?"

I was praying that she would want to help me through what was going to be a very difficult time in my life, I was sure I wouldn't be able to go through this on my own and that I would need someone who was like my sister to help me through, I kind of though of Tamzin as a sister now considering we both were strippers and we seem to be alike.

She sighed making me worry she was going to say no but she didn't "Ok, I will help you through but if you are put in to prison the chances of you getting on a course are small."

I knew this already but when she said it it seemed to sink in, maybe I had messed my life up and it was too late to change.

"I can change my life, can't I?"

Tamzin nodded but I could tell by her expression she didn't think I would be able to.

I sighed then closed my eyes knowing I had nothing left so why should I be here?

"I need the toilet" I didn't actually need the toilet but I just wanted to be alone for a moment so I could end my life and be happy in heaven.

"Ok but I need to stay with you" Tamzin replied making me worry she would stop me from committing suicide.

"You don't have to watch me pee do you?" I tried to make a joke of the situation to make her think every thing was normal.

"No, I just have to stay outside the cubicle so you can't escape" Tamzin laughed then got a wheel chair and helped me in to it.

"Of we go" Tamzin started to wheel me off then stopped as she talked to Dixie.

I noticed a pair of scissors on the side of reception so I grabbed them and hid them under my jumper. She didn't see me do it, no one did!

Then she wheeled me to the bathroom and I entered a cubicle holding the wall to keep my balance then sat down locking the door.

"I'll be right outside" Tamzin called, I could see her feet under the door.

"Ok" I replied as I pulled the scissors out and help them to my wrist, I slit it and groaned as it stung a little.

"Are you ok Katy?" Tamzin heard me groan, what could I do?

"Fine" I whispered as for some reason it hurt to speak.

My wrist throbbed and so did my head from when I fell, everything went blury then I flopped and had fainted.

I could hear Tamzin even though I was unconscious "Katy are you ok" I the heard her shout for help as she had looked over the top of the toilets wall to see me on the floor.

Everyone came rushing in, a man with a sweet voice knocked the door in and I was rushed to a room where numerous doctors rushed around me.

After a while things settled, I lay in a hospital bed unconscious after a police officer had thrown me in to the back of a van as he did I hit my head leading to me falling and dislocating my arm.

I head Sam and Tamzin talking "she can't be in a coma!"

"Sorry Tamzin, we think she has hit her head and that has caused the coma" Sam replied.

I could hear Tamzin sobbing and Sam comforting her.

What more could happen to me?

To Be Continued! Please Review!


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Weeks passed and I still hadn't woken up, I had laid in the hospital's intensive care for far to long and I could hear the doctors contemplating whether they should turn the machine off that was breathing for me.

I could hear Tamzin "please don't, she needs a second chance in life and you can't end it now!"

"Fine but if she doesn't come around in one day then we have to" the doctor replied.

I had one day for my body to come to life so I needed to find a way for that to happen.

Tamzin walked over to the bed side "come on Katy you need to come to life" just then she was interrupted.

"Hello I am Sargent Taylor and I came to tell you that Karl, Katy's boyfriend has handed himself in and cleared her name so she is no longer needed at the police station."

Tamzin smiled "thank you so much" she screamed then looked at me "come on Katy come back to us and you can be trained to be a paramedic!"

I felt different like I wanted to be alive, my eyes flickered.

"Katy! Katy can you hear me" Tamzin shouted as she noticed my eyes move. She pressed a buzzer making lots of nurses and some doctors run to the room.

Sam burst in "is she awake?"

"She's waking up" Tamzin replied as she stroked my hair from my face.

"Tamzin" I groaned.

She looked surprised that the first thing I said when coming round was her name "I'm here Katy."

Hearing her voice and being able to see her comforted me. I smiled at her "thank you."

"I haven't done anything sweetheart" Tamzin looked really confused.

"Yes... you made me realise how stupid I was but things will change" I croaked.

A tear fell from her face "when you are out of hospital then you can stay with me ok?"

I nodded "can I tell you something?"

She nodded.

"I had a baby and left her in roath lock forest."

Tamzin's face dropped "when Katy?"

"The 22nd of June" I knew I shouldn't have left the baby but we needed to get it a warm jumper or coat so that's why we were stealing.

I didn't know how long I had been in a coma but then I saw on a calendar it was the 5th of July!

"Right" she ran out of the door and in to the lift.

I was left with Sam by my side "Have you been checked over since having the baby?"

I shook my head "no and she's called Chantelle."

"Ok, you aren't in pain at the moment are you?"

"Yes" I was in pain.

"Where Katy?" she continued.

I put my hand to my heart "I'm heart broke that my baby is most likely dead and my boyfriend is going to be put in prison" a tear fell from my eye.

"Don't think like that" she snuggled me in to her and that's when I realised she was another person I could trust.

To Be Continued! Please Review!


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

I lay in bed watching the door in hope of Tamzin entering with Chantelle in her arms but she didn't she entered without my daughter.

"Where is Chantelle? Did you find her? Is she ok?" I burst out with loads of questions hoping to get a nice response.

"She is in the ED with Tom who treated you when I found you in the cubicle and she isn't doing too bad so don't worry" Tamzin reassured me then came over giving me a hug.

"She's going to be taken off me isn't she?" I was terrified I would lose my beautiful daughter.

"No, no one needs to know about this happening, Tom won't tell and neither will I" I sighed as Tamzin had just saved Chantelle from going in to care.

"Thank you. When can I get out of this place?" I was sick of the hospital and it was so boring!

"Well Sam said you would be ok in a few days but only if I stay off work with you."

"Will you stay with me?" I hoped she would as I wanted to be out of hospital with Charlotte in my arms.

"Sure I will sweat heart" Tamzin said.

Charlotte was given the all clear then taken to my room where we both slept for the next three days until Sam came letting me know I could go home.  
I settled in quickly and was on a paramedic's course where I went out with the Holby paramedics twice a week. Chantelle would stay in the hospitals nursery but Sam always kept a check on her so I knew she would be safe.  
It was a few weeks in to the course when I began the day getting dressed and applying my make-up then sorting out Chantelle before Tamzin and I went to work and Chantelle went to the nursery.

"Right missy looks like you're with me and Jeff today" Tamzin said as she walked away from the notice bored smiling at me.

"Great" I loved being with Tamzin as I always felt safe and Jeff was hilarious with his random jokes and when he shouted beer O'clock all the time which got on Tamzin's nerves so he did it more.

We all got in to the ambulance and made our way to the first. It was a huge RTC on the motorway with a Mini Cooper and a motorbike.

"Where do you want me?" I asked jumping out of the back of the ambulance.

"You can come with me to the Mini" Jeff shouted as he charged over.

I followed behind then sat beside the young man inside.

"Right princess can you keep his neck still while I get a board and collar for Mr Mini here" Jeff allowed me to hold the man's neck still and Jeff ran to the ambulance.

Then I noticed it dripping "GAS LEAK" I screamed as I rested the man's neck and stood up about to run but it was too late. The car exploded knocking me to the ground!

To Be Continued! Please Review!


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

The world went black for a few minutes then I could feel myself being picked up and carried with the wind blowing through my hair but the smoke chocking me.

"Come on princess, stay with me" Jeff said as he laid me on the ground away from the smoke.

"Jeff" I groaned as my whole body stung.

"It's ok, where does it hurt?" he stroked my now tatty hair out of my face.

"Everywhere but my leg the most" it stung like there was nothing

"Right let's have a look" he carefully rolled my pants up and his face turned to horror "TAMZIN OVER HERE NOW!" If he was shouting Tamzin it must have been serious.

"What's wrong" Tamzin said as she ran over with a frightened look on her face.

"She needs to get in now of she could lose the leg" Jeff explained as he pointed at my leg.

"I might lose my leg" I croaked as I no longer felt pain but instead worry.

"Don't worry Katy" Tamzin looked at me putting on a false smile then turned to Dixie who had just arrived "can we get a bed over here please!"

Dixie rushed a bed over and they all lifted me on to it then wheeled me in to the ambulance.

"Don't worry sweetie" Tamzin said as she inserted an IV making me cringe.

"I'm not worried about me, I'm worried about Chantelle. What if I lose my leg and she has to cope with helping me when she's older?" If I lost my leg I don't know how Chantelle would cope, having to help me and how the school kids would act around her.

"Don't worry about Chantelle, she won't need to help you because even if you have one leg you can be independent and the school kids won't be bothered about what you're like but what Chantelle is like!"

I knew what Tamzin meant but I still thought it would affect us.

"Right Tamzin we are here" Jeff shouted through then opened to back doors.

They wheeled me inside and took me straight through to resus where they examined my leg and all of my other limbs, ran an ECG to be sure my heart was ok after inhaling smoke then I was taken to surgery and they began to operate on me.

"Come with me Katy" a voice said behind a bright light, it was God taking me to heaven.

"I don't want to though" I tried to walk away but there was something pulling me towards the light.

"It's your time" he continued.

"NO!" I shouted as I managed to pull myself away from the light and then it shrunk, but where had it gone?

"Katy, can you hear me?" It was Tamzin; I had made it through the operation and was waking up!

"Tams" I groaned as I moved the oxygen mask away from my face.

To Be Continued! Please Review!


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

"Katy, your leg was saved but will be frail" Tamzin said making me sigh with relief.

"Thanks. Chantelle" I sat up remembering that I had had a long operation and Chantelle had already been in the nursery at the hospital for ages.

"It's ok she's still in the nursery but when it's time for me to leave I will take her back with me" Tamzin stroked the hair out of my face.

"Thank you for everything, you're a star" I smiled as she stroked my face.

"No, I'm just a paramedic helping a fellow pole… paramedic" Tamzin nearly said pole dancer, how could she make such a stupid mistake.

I just smiled back feeling very awkward.

"Right I'm going to head home now" Tamzin picked her bag up and set off walking out.

"Don't forget Chantelle" I shouted.

She nodded then left closing the door behind her.

The next few days went quickly and I was ready to be discharged.

"Right you need to keep this wheel chair and these crutches" the doctor who was treating me said as he handed me the crutches and pointed to the chair before leaving me with Tamzin.

"Can you help me up please" I asked Tamzin as she helped me balance until I was securely in the crutches.

We got in the left and went down to the ground floor and in to the ambulance bay where Jeff and Dixie sat playing with Chantelle.

"Well what's your excuse for skiving missy" Dixie laughed as she jumped up noticing me and Tamzin.

"Well I think that I might need to skive for longer" I joked as they helped me to sit down.

We had a good gossip before getting down to business.

"Dixie is it ok if Katy sits in the ambulance bay with Chantelle while I'm on my shifts because I can't have time off because I need money coming in but she can't be on her own in case she falls" Tamzin pleaded with Dixie.

"As long as she doesn't cause trouble" Dixie looked serious but I could tell she was joking.

"Promise I won't but not promising anything for Chantelle" I laughed but I did think Chantelle would cause trouble as she was teething at the moment so always cried.

We agreed I could stay in the ambulance bay then we drove home and went straight to bed as it was getting late.

To Be Continued! Please Review!


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

The next morning we weren't woken with birds singing but Chantelle screaming!

"Come on princess" I pulled myself up and hopped over to the cot.

I lifted her up and cradled her with one hand while I balanced with the other.

Tam burst in "why aren't you in bed" she took Chantelle off me and rocked her while looking from me to the bed before I got back in to bed.

"Can I not go out for a walk of something?" I was bored sitting inside and felt like getting some fresh air so asked Tamzin.

She sighed "fine but you are in the wheel chair and I push you!"

"Kay, where will Chantelle go?" if Tamzin pushed me she couldn't push a pram.

"In your arms, idiot" Tamzin laughed before placing a sleeping Chantelle back in her crib "now get some rest dopey!"

"Fine but wake me up at 1 for a walk… wheel out" I pulled the cover over me then closed my eyes as Tamzin left.

Not even one hour had gone by and Chantelle woke me up again, crying with her teething pains.

"Tamzin… Tamzin" I shouted a few times but she didn't come so I pulled myself up and like before and hopped over lifting Chantelle out of the cot and as I did my leg hurt a little but I ignored it and sat on the bed with her on my knee.

Then when I no longer needed her Tamzin appeared "did you shout?" I nodded "sorry I didn't hear" Tamzin sat on the bed next to me.

"Can we go for a wander now?" I gave her a big smile then she groaned so I did my puppy dog eyes and she agreed!

We both sorted Chantelle then Tamzin helped me get dressed before we made our way out side and towards the park. Then as always where ever we was there was drama so we heard a scream and Tamzin quickly wheeled us over where we found a little boy had a small cut on his finger after scraping it on a twig.

"Sorry mate but I don't have any plasters with me today" Tamzin said as the boys bottom lip continued to wobble.

"It's ok, I do" I held Chantelle in one arm and reached for my bag with the other then revealed a small plaster.

"Thank you" the little boy smiled as I placed the plaster on his finger before dashing off to play with his friends.

We had a lovely walk then made our way home as we all needed to be up early for Tamzin getting to work and me sitting in the ambulance bay with Chantelle for a few hours.

To Be Continued! Please Review!


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

The next morning was hectic! I woke up to Tamzin shaking me as I had over slept and we needed to be at the ambulance bay in the next forty minutes!

I pulled myself out of bed and got dressed while Tamzin sorted Chantelle out.

It took my twenty minutes to get ready leaving us just enough time to reach the ambulance bay.

"Morning" Dixie said as she opened the car door unclicking Chantelle before she carried her inside.

Tamzin helped me out of the car then we headed inside.

"Right Tamz we have our first call so me and Dixie are going" Jeff winked at Tamzin then turned to me "top, left cupboard… Dixie's chocolate biscuits" he jumped in the ambulance and they sped off.

"Tamzin we need to go to the factory a young man has caught his hand in machinery" Norman said as he plodded over.

"Right, cya soon Katy" Tamzin waved as they both got in the ambulance leaving me to look after Chantelle.

I rested my legs on the sofa at I sat watching TV on BBC iPlayer and Chantelle played with her toys. I never noticed Chantelle knocking over the vase on the table until I heard a smash making me jump!

"CHANTELLE! Are you ok?" I pulled myself up and hopped over as I was frustrated that she had broken a vase but worried that she had hurt herself.

She looked at me with big blue eyes then I noticed she had cut her finger a little, she wasn't crying so it didn't hurt her but she needed a plaster to stop her from seeing the blood and crying.

"Here princess" I helped her away from the shards of glass and sat her on the sofa before plonking myself on the sofa as well.

I put a small plaster on her finger and she giggled a little.

"All better beautiful!" I put her back on the floor, away from the glass to left her to continue playing.

I couldn't bend down to clear up the glass so it had to stay in shards on the floor until Tamzin returned.

"What's happened here then?" Dixie frowned at me as she entered.

"It was an accident sorry" I looked to the ground in shame.

"It's ok, no one got hurt did they?" I knew Dixie needed to know I wasn't watching Chantelle properly at the time but she would call me a bad mother and I really didn't mean for her to get hurt!

"Well Chantelle cut her finger but it just needed a plaster" I tried to sound confident as I told Dixie but I bet I didn't.

"Let's have a look princess" Dixie said as she bent down beside Chantelle.

She peeled the plaster off slowly then looked and the cut which had stopped bleeding and was just a bit of loose skin.

"She's fine Dixie" I hopped up then slipped landing on the floor yelping.

"Katy!" Dixie jumped up and helped me on to the sofa.

"What's happened?" Jeff asked as he entered seeing a pile of glass on the floor and me on the sofa with bits of glass in my unplastered leg.

"I just slipped but I'm fine" I didn't want to worry anyone as I just had a few cuts and nothing more.

"Right Jeffery I'm going to need some sterile tweezers, a small sterile tray and some plasters" Dixie demanded and Jeff went to the ambulance then returned with everything before they both started to pick the glass out of my leg.

"Katy what's happened?" Tamzin burst in noticing that I had glass in my leg.

"Chantelle knocked the vase of then I slipped and landed in the broken glass" I looked at Tamzin as her face was glued to my leg.

"Right lets clean this up then" she grabbed the dust pan and brush then cleaned up the glass before sitting next to Katy who's leg was now covered in plasters.

"Thanks Dix" I gave her a cheeky wink before they left as a call came through. "Can you keep Chantelle while I go away for a while to get my life sorted? I can't keep her with me while I go to Australia." I needed to ask Tamzin soon as I had been planning this for a while and I had already booked a flight with her credit card so she would be getting her bank statement soon and see that a lot of money was gone.

Tamzin looked in horror "your leaving and you want me to look after Chantelle?"

I nodded unable to speak.

"If it's what you think is best then I will but you don't need to I will help you sort everything out, anyway what needs sorting?" I was wondering if she would ask this and I needed to get a lot of courage to tell her.

"My boyfriend wants to see me" I lowered my voice as I didn't really want to tell her.

"You're not…" I cut Tamzin off before she could finish her sentence.

"No I'm not selling myself we are going to get married and he doesn't know I have Chantelle" I had admitted that I had a new boyfriend and that we were getting married but how would she react?

"Have you met him before?" Tamzin continued.

I shook my head "he is trustworthy though I have done a video chat with him and seen his mum" I knew this didn't mean a lot but it was better than only seeing pictures.

"Video chat that's it, well you go and ruin your life and I will keep Chantelle" Tamzin stood up and grabbed Chantelle before leaving in the car.

I sat thinking have I just made one huge mistake? If I had then it was too late now.

To Be Continued! Please Review!

Any Suggestions Welcome!


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

I phoned a taxi and it took me home. I stood outside the door not sure whether to knock or not as at the moment the house didn't feel like home.

I was about to knock when the door opened "I can see through the window you know!"

Tamzin let me in and she had my bags packed ready for me leaving.

"Can I go to the toilet please?" I didn't need the toilet I need to hurt Tamzin!

"Sure" she helped me upstairs then left me to do my business.

I waited until she had gone downstairs before going in to Chantelle's bedroom. I picked her up then hopped to the top of the stairs and then dropped her, she rolled down the stairs and Tamzin was at the bottom in seconds.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE" she screamed at me as I glared down the stairs.

"Just thrown my baby downstairs, what do you think?" I said sarcastically.

"I'M GETTING AN AMBULANCE" Tamzin grabbed the phone then dialled 999 then hung up a minute later as the ambulance was coming.

"How do you feel?" I asked Tamzin as I wanted to know I had heard her.

"How do you think?" she answered as tears rolled down her face.

I smiled "well this is called revenge!"

"Revenge for what?" Tamzin continued to cry as she stroked Chantelle's frail body.

"For sleeping with my boyfriend when we were at the pink pussy cat" I threw a toy down the stairs and it hit Tamzin making her squirm.

"Who was your boyfriend?"

"Kenny Peters!" I shouted.

"That wasn't me who slept with him, it was Miranda!" My heart sunk as Tamzin shouted back, I had the wrong person and had just thrown my baby downstairs to hurt someone who hasn't done anything wrong!

"Move Chantelle, I'm jumping!" I demanded she moved my daughter so I could end my worthless life.

"NO YOU ARE NOT!" she glared at me.

I closed my eyes and moved my hands off the wall so I had no support for balance before letting myself fall forward. Tamzin grabbed Chantelle and moved out of the way just in time.

To Be Continued! Please Review!


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

I could see a light shining in my eyes "Katy can you hear me?" It was a voice of someone who I knew.

I groaned in response then the voice clicked, it was Jeff "great, try to stay with us princess. Dixie speed up a bit she's going a little tacki."

"Jeffery" I stuttered as my eyes fluttered.

"Yeah, what's wrong princess?"

"Chantelle"

"She is fine with Tamzin and at the ED already" he reassured me making me sigh with relief.

"Right Jeffery lets go" Dixie said opening the back door before they both wheeled me in to the ED.

I tried to pull myself up but was forced back by the spinal bored holding me down.

"I don't want treatment! Leave me to die!" I screamed as they all rushed around me ordering numerous tests.

"Katy are you serious because we don't need you pulling jokes now!" Sam looked at me seriously but I could tell inside she was worried for me.

"I am deadly serious Sam; I'm a horrid, worthless idiot!" I hated my life and myself for everything I had done and if I lived longer I had no doubt I would cause more destruction and hurt.

"No Katy, I need to help please don't refuse treatment" Sam moved forward looking at me closely.

"I am refusing and if you try to treat me I will hit you!" I could feel my blood boiling as I just wanted to die one way or another!

"Tough, I'm not letting you leave this world right now" Sam grabbed an IV then tried to insert it but before she could I slapped her across the face.

She glared at me with tears running down her face as she clasped her bright red cheek before running out of resus.

"KATY WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO SAM" Jeff stormed in then grabbed the IV holding my arm still before inserting it.

"I don't want to live Jeff" I lowered my voice and a tear fell down my face.

"Well stop thinking about yourself and focus on your daughter" Jeff said before storming out.

I pulled the spinal collar off before undoing the straps on the board then I pulled the IV out and limped outside. I was outside in seconds and no one had stopped me. I walked to the fire steps at the side of the hospital and slowly made my way to the top.

I looked over the edge and could see Jeff and Dixie driving off in the ambulance and Tamzin looking around.

"KATY! KATY" I could hear Tamzin shouting for me but I couldn't face her or anyone else.

I closed my eyes and jumped.

To Be Continued! Please Review!


	12. Chapter 12

**Tamzin's Point Of View**

**Chapter Twelve**

I heard a bang and turned to see a body on the floor, I ran over and then I noticed… it was Katy!

"Katy can you hear me?" I grabbed her wrist feeling for a pulse then spotted Tom outside the ED oblivious to what had just happened "TOM HELP SHE'S NOT BREATHING!"

"WHAT HAPPENED?" he asked running over.

"She jumped"

"Off the roof?" he asked as he turned her body over before starting chest compressions.

I couldn't talk so nodded, the shock had hit me.

"Right Tamzin alert everyone inside the ED and get Jeff to bring that trolley over here now ok?" he sent me off to do the task.

I grabbed the trolley Jeff had and pointed to Katy as no words were needed, he ran over.

I entered the ED "Tess" I grabbed Tess as she was walking past the door "can you get everyone prepared in resus, Katy jumped off the roof and isn't breathing but Tom and Jeff are outside and bringing her inside now!"

She nodded then dashed off, sorting out everyone. Then Jeff and Tom came in.

"Katy Pickles, she has jumped off the roof and is in cardiac arrest" Jeff announced as Tom continued chest compressions.

"Straight to resus please" Zoe shouted as she also grabbed the bad and helped wheel Katy in to resus.

I stood outside resus watching and Sam stood next to me.

"Don't worry Tamzin" Sam said as she put her arm around me.

"How can't I worry" I raised my voice a little as I got angry.

Jeff noticed me shout so came out of resus "come here princess" he grabbed hold of me and hugged me tight.

"It's entirely my fault!" I cried, soaking his paramedic uniform in my tears.

"No it isn't and you know that" he whispered holding me tight.

"Tamzin… I'm sorry" Zoe said calmly as she walked out of resus.

I didn't look up I remained with my head snuggled in to Jeff.

"Jeffery, there you are!" Dixie shouted coming through the ED doors then she saw me crying and looked confused "who died?"

"Dixie, Katy is no longer with us" Jeff sounded frustrated as he held my head closer to his chest "come on princess" he said as he lead me to the ambulance bay.

We sat on the sofa cuddling. I felt safe when I was with Jeff, kind of like he was my father.

"Sorry Tamzin" Dixie said softly as she entered the ambulance bay with a coffee for me.

"It's ok… you weren't to know" I was still annoyed that Dixie was shouting when Katy had just died but I still forgave her as she was being her usual jolly self and wasn't aware of anything that had happened.

She came and sat next to me "do you want to stay with me and Jeff for a little while, until Chantelle is out of hospital?"

I gave a week nod "I can't take Chantelle, not after all of this" I wanted to care for Chantelle but I couldn't as her mother seemed to hate me so much in her last few hours!

"Do you want me to contact the social?" Jeff asked as I snuggled in to him more.

"No, not yet I need time to get over everything" I wanted to keep Chantelle happy but I couldn't cope with a baby and work a job.

"Ok, let's get you home then" Jeff and Dixie drove me to their house and let me stay in their spare room where I fell asleep instantly.

To Be Continued! Please Review!


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

I woke up the next morning and the house was empty. I went downstairs and still no one was there so I laid on the couch and fell asleep as the previous day had taken its toll on me.

"Tamzin were back from Tesco" Dixie said as she shook my arm gently waking me.

"Yeah" I said stretching.

"Chantelle is being discharged later on so the social services need alerting if you can't care for her." As Dixie told me this my heart sunk as I knew I couldn't care for Chantelle but I really wanted to.

"Can you get in touch with the social please, I'm not ready to look after a baby" I had made my mind up and there was no going back now.

"Sure" Dixie left my side and went in to the kitchen shutting the door behind her.

Jeff came and sat next to me "are you ok? You look a little peaky" he said as he put him hand to my head.

"I'm fine" I wasn't fine, in fact I was the complete opposite but I didn't want Jeff to worry.

"Okay but you have got a temperature" he snuggled me in to him.

"Jeffery I am perfect! Absolutely fucking perfect!"

Jeff sighed "look if you need any help… coping with Katy's death then you can talk to me" he hugged me tighter making me feel safe.

"I know" even though I felt safe in Jeff's arms I pulled myself up and ran upstairs.

"TAMZIN" Jeff shouted as he followed me upstairs.

I sat on the bed with my head in my hands as I sobbed.

"Tamzin don't worry sweetie" he sat putting his arm around me.

"No Jeff it's not Katy but I think I love you" I had felt like this for ages but never had the courage to express my feeling but I didn't want to hurt Dixie either.

He sat silently looking at me with shock on his face.

"Jeff do you love me?" I needed to know if he felt the same way and if he didn't then I would have to leave Holby.

He lent forwards and his lips touched mine then his tongue entered my mouth and coursed mine, I felt amazing and didn't want to stop kissing but then Dixie entered.

"What's going on?" she looked horrified and my heart was racing as I noticed her.

"Sorry Dix" I said as a tear fell from my face then she collapsed, right there in front of me and Jeff.

"Dixie can you hear me?" Jeff asked as he grabbed her wrist feeling for a pulse "she's bradicardic and in peri arrest so can you phone for an ambulance Tamzin" he said as he started compressions.

I grabbed the phone and within minutes the ambulance arrived and we were all in the ED.

To Be Continued! Please Review!


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

Dixie was rushed through to resus and I stood with Jeff in that exact spot where I found out Katy had gone, I hoped this wasn't going to repeat its self!

"Right guys she is doing great now and it looks like she had just had a severe asthma attack" Zoe reassured us as she exited resus.

"She's ok" Jeff sighed then hugged me tight "I still love you though."

The words stuck in my mind like glue, did he mean it or was he trying to stop me from being depressed with everything else that was going on.

"Jeff… I love you too but how can I believe your love is true and not just to keep me sane after everything?" I'd said what I thought would be hard to say but it wasn't.

"Will this do" he said as he kissed me in front of everyone making them all gasp with shock.

When my lips touched Jeff's I knew I was in love and that we needed to be together but I also knew that Dixie needed Jeff and I couldn't take him away from Dixie. Then our lips separated.

"Jeff I can't be with you, it's not fair on Dixie" I placed my hand on his cheek and felt his soft skin.

"We can be friends… close friends, yeah?" he smiled as he said this and it made me feel better knowing I wasn't going to be hurting Dixie or anyone else.

I nodded then we both turned and looked at Dixie who was laid on a bed in resus, we entered and made our way to her bed side.

"Dixie, me and Tamzin are not dating and that kiss you saw was just because…" Jeff paused and turned looking at me "because we were confused and flustered" he said he loved me, he lied!

I ran out of resus and outside where Sam stood as she was due to start her shift.

"Tamzin is everything ok?" she asked as she came over looking concerned.

"NO IT BLOODY ISN'T, DIXIE HAS HAD AN ASTHMA ATTACK AND JEFF DOESN'T LOVE" I screamed in frustration then broke down in tears.

"Come on Tamzin" she put her arm around me and we got in a taxi which took us to Sam's house.

"Tell me what's going on" she said calmly as she sat opposite me on her cushy sofa.

"I kissed Jeff then Dixie walked in and saw then collapsed before going in to cardiac arrest then Jeff said he loved me and we shared another kiss" after only saying this much of the story Sam's face had dropped with shock.

I continued "then he told Dixie that everything what happened was because we were confused" by now I was doubled over from my stomach aching from crying.

"Ok, you are staying here for now and I'm going to ask Zoe if you can work in the ED with me" Sam said as she grabbed the phone and dialled Zoe's mobile number, after a few minutes she hung up "you start on tomorrow but if you want to work in the ED you have to go counselling once a week until the councillor says you are over everything."

I smiled then grabbed Sam, hugging her tight as I realised I could trust her to help me.

To Be Continued! Please Review!


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

I slept in Sam's spare room and would be working in the ED with Sam instead of the ambulance bay for obvious reasons.

"Ready to go?" Sam asked as she ran down the stairs.

"Yeah" I got up off the couch and Sam drove us to the ED.

We headed for the lockers so we could get changed.

"Sam do you think I could visit Chantelle before she goes in to care?" I really wanted to see her as it may be the last time I ever could.

"Sure" Sam gave me a week smile then we made our way to paediatrics.

"Hello princess" I said as I stroked Chantelle's hand.

I could see Chantelle looking in to my eyes and then Sam tapped me on the shoulder.

"Time to go Tamz" I was dreading them words, I turned to leave then Chantelle started to cry.

I ran over and picked her up, as soon as I did she stopped crying, she must have really liked me and needed me. I turned and gave Sam a sad look as tears formed in my eyes.

"Tamzin, do you want to keep her?" Sam asked.

I looked up to the celling as I really did but I knew I couldn't. I put Chantelle back in her crib and ignored Sam "bye bye butterfly." I had just said the exact thing the police officer said when he threw me in to the cell at the police station and I knew how lonely I felt when that happened so how would Chantelle feel?

"Sam I can't leave her" I whispered as tears fell from my eyes. I went dizzy, everything was too much. My legs felt like jelly and my eyes were blurry.

"Tamzin, what wrong?" I head Sam say as I grabbed the cot trying to stabilise myself.

"Just dizzy" I gradually lowered myself to the floor and put my head in-between my legs.

"Ok" Sam sat next to me then looked to a nurse "can you get me Zoe Hanna please"

"No not Zoe, no one, I'm fine" I said in a panic.

"Yes Zoe" Sam ended and I wasn't in a mood to argue so gave in.

A few minutes later Zoe was in paediatrics.

"What's going on?" she asked as she spotted Tamzin sat on the floor.

"She went dizzy and couldn't see" Sam answered as I sat with my head in-between my legs.

"I'm fine" I grabbed the cot and tried to pull myself up but stopped trying straight away as I didn't have the strength to do anything.

Zoe checked me over then said "Sam can we get her to cubicles for obs please?"

"Sure" Sam grabbed a wheel chair then they both helped me in to it and wheeled me through the ED in to a cubicle.

"Sam can I just go" I sighed as I pulled myself on to the bed.

"No" she said as she attached the oximeter to my finger giving me a strange look.

"What is it Sam?" I could tell something was on her mind but what?

"Nothing" she said with a big grin on her face.

"Sam?"

"Well you know Tom; he asked me if I would go to the pub with him tonight"

"And are you going?" I wanted Sam to be happy and enjoy life but at the same time I didn't want to be on my own.

"Maybe, not sure yet" she looked happy, like she really liked Tom and needed him.

"Go for it Sam" I can't just think about myself so I'm not going to stop her from having fun.

"You know what… I will" she strutted out of the cubicle and made her way over to Tom then a minute later she returned "he's taking me out tonight!"

"Congratulations" I yelled.

Sam looked at the oximeter then looked at me "well your O2 is low so you will need some oxygen and your BPM is fine"

"Great" I grabbed the mask of the side and put it on my face "so I can go home after some oxygen?"

"Sure" Sam smiled then walked off to get on with her work.

An hour later she returned "right you're free to go" she removed the oxygen mask off my face and helped me off the bed.

"Has Chantelle gone yet?" I asked.

Sam nodded "she left half an hour ago."

A tear ran down my face, I was devastated that I never got to say a nice good bye or discuss if I would be able to see her with the social worker. Sam gave me the key and I got a taxi home and fell asleep.

To Be Continued! Please Review!


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

The next morning I woke up and looked for Sam but she wasn't there, then I saw my phone had a message, it read:

_Tamzin,_

_Sorry you won't have me home tonight because I'm staying at Tom's! ;)_

_Cya tomorrow,_

_Sam xxx_

I was happy for her spending the night with Tom but annoyed as I didn't want to be alone. I though a walk might clear my mind so I headed out. I saw numerous dog walkers but one who was too familiar for my likings.

"Tamzin… morning" Dylan said raising his eye brows.

"Hi Dylan" I gave him a brief smile.

"Are you ok? Just I saw you being in a wheel chair in the ED yesterday."

"Fine" I didn't feel well at all, I was still dizzy but I wasn't going to tell Dylan this, in fact I wasn't going to tell anyone this as I just felt like being alone.

"You sure, you look a little pail" he switched hands with the dog lead and felt my forehead "you're boiling"

"No I'm fine" I nudged his hand away from my head and set of walking away.

After I saw him set off walking I stopped and balanced on a lamppost as my head was spinning.

"Tamzin?" he had seen me, great!

"I'm fine" I shouted but then fell to the ground.

He ran over and his dog licked my face while he phoned an ambulance.

"Right Tamzin what the hell has been going on?" I needed to tell someone but Dylan would be at the bottom of the list.

I sighed then admitted "I keep going dizzy but I am fine!" I was grinding my teeth with frustration as he kept taking my pulse and checking my temperature.

"Obviously not as you pulse is racing…"

I cut him off "yes because you are annoying me!"

"Well Tasmanian devil I will not be treated like that!" he snapped back.

"Oy I am not going to tolerate being called a Tasmanian devil!" I couldn't believe he had just called me something so rude!

Then the ambulance arrived, it was Jeff and Dixie.

"Tamzin, what's happened?" Jeff asked as he sat next to me looking terrified.

"I'm fine now bugger off" I shouted as I tried to pull myself up but was stopped by Dixie.

"Obviously you're not!" she said as she placed an oximeter on my finger like Sam had done and then pushed a thermometer in my ear "well your temperature is a little high so you will me coming in with us."

"No, I refuse treatment!" there was no way I would go with them!

"Please princess, for me?" Jeff looked at me calmly.

I shook my head then my head was spinning again but I felt sick as well "Jeff I'm going to be…" it was too late I had just vomited all over Jeff!

"Thanks for that princess" he said as he stroked my back and tried to ignore the vomit all over him.

"It's coming again" this time I had said before it was too late and Dixie had put a small tray in front of me.

"I'll go get the wheel chair shall I" Jeff toddled off to the ambulance and came back with the wheel chair.

It felt so strange being picked up in the ambulance instead of me picking others up.

I pulled myself in to the wheel chair and then we set off in the ambulance to the ED. When we pulled up outside the ED I could feel my gut's churning!

Jeff wheeled me through the doors and then Zoe was by our side "this is Tamzin Bayle 28; she collapsed in the park and was luckily enough to have Dylan see her and she has also vomited on me. Where do you want her Zoe?"

"Cubicle 2 please" she replied then they took me in to the cubicle then Jeff left.

"Zoe I'm fine" I said as she looked down at me.

"Obviously not!" she snapped helping me out of the wheel chair on to the bed.

"Zoe I feel sick and dizzy so all I need is rest!" I snapped back as I was sick of being told what to do!

"Well that's why we need to keep you under obs. Sam is on her way in… you are staying with her aren't you?"

"I am but I don't need to stay here!" I said but before I had finished my sentence Zoe has left already!

I lay in the bed twiddling my thumbs waiting when all of a sudden I felt a sharp pain in my stomach; I clutched my stomach and winced as the pain hit me. Luckily no one had heard me so I couldn't be kept in for longer.

Then Sam appeared sticking her head through the cubicle "what happened?"

"I fainted and threw up on Jeff to put it short!" I smirked a little.

"Great, well do you feel ok now?"

"Yeah, I'm fine!"

"Ok, well I will get Zoe to discharge you then we can get a taxi home" Sam wandered off to see Zoe then returned a few minutes later "we can go now!"

"Great" I pulled myself off the bed and Sam helped me to walk out of the ED and in to a taxi where we was taken home and both went straight to sleep!

To Be Continued! Please Review!


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

The next morning I felt awful, still sick and dizzy but I think I knew why so I walked to the pharmacy while Sam was sleeping and got a pregnancy test.

I opened the front door and Sam was sat at the table eating toast "morning"

"Hi, where have you been?" Sam asked.

I couldn't tell her that I went for a pregnancy test but where could I have been… another walk "just went for a wander, got bored"

"Kay" Sam looked convinced so with that I went upstairs.

I sat on the toilet and urinated on the test then waited for what felt like eternity! Then it was ready, would it be that pink plus or a single line, I looked and there it was that plus sign that would change my life. A tear ran down my face as I realised how difficult this would make things but then Sam knocked of the toilet door so I wiped the tears away and opened the door.

"Are you ok? Just you've been in there a while" Sam said as she noticed my eyes were red.

"Fine, perfect" I smiled then entered my room and laid on the bed thinking.

I knew who the father was but what would he think? How can I tell him? Shall I keep the baby? Everything was too much, I closed my eyes and relaxed picturing that all of this was a dream but it wasn't.

"Tamzin" Sam said popping her head around the door then entering "I found this on the bathroom floor" she placed the empty pregnancy test box on the bed.

I stared at the box, how stupid was I to leave the box where Sam would find it! I trust her enough to tell her but she would want to know who the father was and I didn't want that coming out… not yet anyway!

"I'm pregnant but I don't know who the father is." I blurted out.

Sam sighed "ok, who could he be"

"I don't know but I must be a few month's gone because I haven't had time to… you know"

"Well let's go to the ED and you can have an ultrasound done"

"Okay" Sam drove us to the ED and we both sat waiting in reception.

"Tamzin" Tom said as he held her notes.

"Sam will you come in with me please?" I didn't want to be on my own just in case there was something wrong.

"Sure" we followed Tom in to a cubicle and I lay on the bed.

"So what's the problem?" Tom asked trying to look professional even though he knew us both and Sam more… a lot more!

"She's pregnant but only just found out she needs the doppler to check everything is ok" Sam spoke for me as I was still in shock.

"You're pregnant!? Congratulations, so who's the dad?" Tom seemed happy for me but I didn't know how to reply.

"I don't know who he is" I was already sick of people asking who the father was!

"Oh" Tom said as he squirted some cream on my stomach before scanning it with the doppler "well your baby is fine, do you want to know the sex?"

I nodded; why not know it because I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep it!

"Ok, well you have a little boy" I couldn't help but smile, the thought that I had a little baby boy growing inside me!

"Thanks' Tom" Sam placed a small kiss on his cheek then he left with a grin on his face.

"I need to speak to the father" I looked at Sam as a tear rolled down my cheek.

"Are you sure?" I knew I was but Sam asked so I nodded.

I pulled myself of the bed and walked to the ambulance bay where I could see Jeff and Dixie sat together laughing.

"Hi, how are you?" Dixie asked as she noticed me enter the paramedic's staff room.

"I'm fine but I need to talk with Jeff" Jeff looked confused but followed me to the locker room.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"I'm pregnant, you're the father!"

To Be Continued! Please Review!


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

Jeff looked at me in horror, disbelief then spoke "how far gone?"

My voice lowered "6 months"

"But you're not showing!"

"Well I am still pregnant so do you want to be involved or not because I'm keeping him!"

"Him, we're having a baby boy" his face lit up making me relax a little.

"Yeah and before you ask it is just one" I smiled.

He chuckled a little then his face turned serious "I still love you" he raised his hand making it touch my cheek "do you love me?"

I nodded then our lips touched.

"JEFFERY WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" It was Dixie, she had seen us kissing!

"Kissing the true love in my life, the one who is baring my child" he smiled as he said this which settled me a little.

"Tamzin, you're pregnant? TRAMP" she gave me a dark glare.

"Leave Tamz alone and you said I could have relationships because you are a lesbian and I am not a woman... well last time I checked I wasn't!"

I giggled a little then Dixie gave me another icy glare making me stop instantly.

"Very funny Jeffery! I never said get a woman up the duff did I?!"

"Well she isn't a woman she's my woman... my princess" he placed a kiss on my head then his hand rubbed my belly making Dixie shed a few tears.

He called me his princess, Dixie had always been his princess "I can have an abortion if you want Dixie" I chipped in wanting all the arguing to end.

"No, you can't he's ours" Jeff said as he continued to rub my stomach.

"Well I hope you two are very happy together!" Dixie walked over to me and continued to give me an icy glare "you stole him, how could you" she slapped me across the fave making me fall to the ground through the force.

"Tamzin are you ok?" Jeff asked as he knelt besides me.

"Yeah, get Sam I thing she's in the staff room still" I wanted Sam because even though Jeff seemed happy about the baby and still loved me I trusted Sam more.

"I'm not leaving you with her" he looked at Dixie scowling.

"I will get her then" Dixie stormed past us and in to the staff room leading Sam out.

"What happened?" Sam asked as she saw me sat on the floor.

"I slipped... that's all" I jumped in before Jeff could say anything about Dixie.

"Ok, Dixie can you get us a wheel chair please. Well let's get you checked over and then you can come home with me"

Dixie ran over with the wheel chair "here, I have to go" Dixie then ran off.

"Right on 3 Jeff, 1, 2, 3," they lifted me in to the chair then Jeff wheeled me in to the ED with Sam at my side.

"Back so soon?" Tom asked looked a little worried.

"Well I slipped and Sam said I needed to be checked out because of the baby"

"Ok, well lets get you in to cubicle 7 then" they wheeled me in to the cubicle and Jeff stood next to the bed.

"You not going Jeff?" Tom asked looking confused.

"No, he isn't because he's the father" I had taken the next step and told someone who I wasn't particularly close to but who wouldn't gossip about it.

"Oh, Congratulations Jeffery" Tom raised his eye brown and shook Jeff's hand "right lets see how the baby is then" Tom again squirted the gel on my stomach then scanned "all fine!"

"Thanks, please keep it on the quiet... the pregnancy" I didn't want to be the gossip of Holby but I think it was too late because Dixie had just entered the ED and looked mad!

"Don't worry" Tom gave me a wink then left.

"Can I have everyone's attention please" Dixie shouted as she stood on a chair in reception.

Sam opened the curtain so we could see her and Jeff looked terrified.

"That slut in there is pregnant with my Jeffery Collier!" she pointed to me, everyone looked, I just cried.

To Be Continued! Please Review!


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen**

Sam whipped the curtains shut and walked over giving me a huge hug.

"Don't worry, ignore her" Sam continued to hug me.

"But…" I couldn't continue I was in too much pain, I clutched my stomach.

"Tamz what's wrong?" Jeff asked looking concerned.

"My stomach" I continued to clutch it.

Sam ran outside the cubicle and shouted for Tom who then came in.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Stomach pains" Sam answered as she grabbed the doppler.

"Okay" they scanned my stomach then both grabbed the bed and rushed me to resus!

"Sam, what's wrong?" I was terrified, what if my baby died?

"The baby want's to come now" I could tell she was lying, something was very wrong!

"Tamzin we need to perform a C section to deliver the baby" Tom said as he grabbed an injection and took my arm "slight scratch" he injected me with the anaesthetic then everything went drowsy and I was unconscious.

I woke up to see Jeff asleep in the chair next to the bed. My stomach was killing me and I couldn't help but groan.

"Tamzin" Jeff jumped up out of his chair "are you ok?"

"My stomach aches" I groaned.

"Well it tends to when you have just had a C section" he smiled and started to stroke my hair.

"Where is he?" if my son was born then I wanted to see him and know he was okay!

"He is in intensive care because he is very premature but he is doing well considering he wasn't breathing when he was born" Jeff froze.

"He wasn't breathing?" I couldn't believe my new son wasn't breathing when he was born!

"He wasn't but he is now so don't worry" Jeff he hugged me again making me calm down a little.

"What if he dies?" I knew it didn't sound nice but I wanted to know if he would and if I need to prepare myself.

"Well the chances of that happening and low so don't think like that princess!"

I then remembered, Dixie was his princess not me "Jeff I'm not your princess that's Dixie"

I could tell he missed her by the face he pulled when I said her name.

"Well she isn't here now is she?"

"But she was… is your princess, I'm not!" I raised my voice a little as I was getting annoyed with him.

"Why aren't you though?"

"Because you are meant to be with Dixie not me, I'm a horrid slutty cow!" a tear ran down my face as I said this.

"That's not true" he put his hand to my face but I pulled away.

"Yes it is now go away and be with Dixie" I loved him and he loved me but I knew we couldn't be together, it just wouldn't work.

"But I need you" his eyes were watering.

"But you need Dixie more" I held back the tears for Jeff's sake.

He sighed "maybe I do but what about our son?"

"You and Dixie can take him, be a family! That is if you and Dixie both want him" I couldn't believe I had just given my baby away.

"But he's your son"

"No he is yours… yours and Dixie's new family member"

"Are you sure?"

I nodded, I wanted Jeff to be happy and I knew this would make him happy but I knew it would be horrid for me, having to give my baby away.

"Thank you so much" Jeff flung his arms around me then ran off leaving me to cry myself to sleep.

To Be Continued! Please Review!


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty**

I didn't sleep well, my eyes couldn't stay closed as I couldn't stop hearing a baby crying, but it wasn't a real baby because it was one in my head.

A nurse entered looking at me with a stupid grin on her face "we are bringing… well actually you haven't named him have you?"

I shook my head.

"Do you have any ideas?"

I shook my head.

"Are you ok?"

"NO NOW GO AWAY!" I was frustrated that everything had gone wrong in my life ever since Katy entered!

The nurse left no longer smiling.

I laid thinking about Katy then I thought if my baby is going to be with Jeff and Dixie then I should take Chantelle! Not as a replacement but as… as a friend.

"Tamzin" it was Jeff!

"Yes I'm sure you can take the baby now leave me alone!" I knew he was going to ask me if I was sure so answered his question before he asked it!

"Don't you want to visit him?" I could tell Jeff felt guilty but I didn't want to deal with a new born!

"NO I DON'T NOW LEAVE!" I raised my voice again making him back out of the room.

I continued to think about living arrangements and how things would work then I'd had enough so flung the covers over the bed and got up swaying a little as I did. I grabbed my dressing gown off the side and wrapped it around me then walked to the lift and went to the ED.

"Tamzin what are you doing down here?" Tom asked as soon as he saw me exit the lift.

"Just fancied a wander for a change of scenery" I didn't at all, I wanted to get away from the whole hospital and to see Chantelle!

"Ok, want me to get you a wheel chair and your very own Big Mac?"

I laughed "no I'm fine thanks, only gave birth"

"Okay, got to go now got a peads emergency coming in!" Tom dashed off to get ready.

I wandered over to the computers in reception and luckily no one was on them to I opened a web search and typed in 'Gareth Peters'the name of the social worker. Instantly loads of websites about him popped up so I opened one and the phone number was there! I grabbed a pen and wrote it on a sticky note that was at the side of the computer.

"Tamzin what are you doing?" It was Sam and she had seen me on the computer!

"Just needed to know…" I couldn't think then I knew what to say "the number for the estate agent because I found this flat on my phone but I couldn't find the number and it's easier to find on this bigger screen!"

"Ok, well why don't you go back to bed and rest, you do look very sleepy!" Sam took my arm and I went dizzy in an instant.

"I'm okay just need a change of scenery" despite going dizzy I didn't show it in my face and it wasn't bad enough for me to fall!

"Oh, well I was going to go on my diner break so we can get some food if you want?"

I shook my head "I'm going to get some fresh air" I walked outside feeling the breeze but also the freedom brush against me!

I pulled my phone out of my pocket at then dialled the number off the sticky note then waited.

"Hello Gareth Peters speaking" he answered but I didn't know what to say!

"Hi" I replied still thinking of what to say.

"Can I help you?"

"Yeah, Chantelle Pickles"

"Ok"

"I need to see her!"

"Well who are you?"

"Oh, Tamzin a friend of Katy's but I want to adopt her!"

"Sorry she is being adopted already but if you want to you can ask to visit her?"

"No, I can't I need her!"

"Sorry" I hung the phone up I didn't want to listen to the social worker apologise I just wanted Chantelle!

I stormed in to the ED still feeling a little dizzy.

"Tamzin are you ok? You look a little pail?" Zoe asked as she saw me enter.

"Yeah I'm fine, just need some space!" I raised my voice a little with frustration.

"Okay, are you sure?"

I grabbed Zoe's arm as the dizziness took over me.

"Dom can we get a wheel chair for Tamzin please" Zoe asked the male nurse as he walked past.

He brought me a wheel chair over and they sat me down.

"So what is wrong with you?" Zoe was serious now and I knew I had to tell her.

"I have given my baby to Jeff so him and Dixie can live happily with him and I said I didn't want to see him, and now I can't adopt Chantelle and everything is screwed up!" I was in hysterics and shaking.

"Come on" Zoe wheeled me to the staff room and then wandered off returning with Sam a few minutes later.

Sam rushed to my side "what's happened?"

"I need help, I need my life normal but it can never be now that I have a baby who I have given to Jeff!" the tears continued to flow.

"It's ok" Sam hugged me and I sat cuddling her.

To Be Continued! Please Review! Thank you for all of your reviews so far I really appreciate them and they help me persevere with my writing! :)


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty One**

After a comforting hug I calmed down a bit.

"Sam can you get me something?" I asked hoping she would say yes.

"Okay… what do you need?"

"A packet of the strongest pills you can get"

Sam looked at me confused "are you in pain or something?"

"No I just can't face my life anymore"

Zoe and Sam looked at each other with a worried expression.

Zoe came over to my side "you know we can't and won't give you anything"

"But I don't see a point in me being here… in the world! After all when I'm here things are rubbish"

"Tamzin, you save lives at work and that is something amazing that you should be proud of" Sam said as she looked at me scared.

"I need to leave this place and start a new then"

"Well we can help you do that" I didn't want help I wanted to so things on my own for once, no matter how much pain I felt and how much help I felt like having.

"No, I'm going to leave and not have any help!"

"But you're ill at the moment"

"No, I've had a baby so not really"

"Yes you are"

I looked at Sam confused "go on tell me how I am ill"

Sam looked to Zoe who sighed then began "we think you need to be assessed by the psychiatric team"

I looked at them in horror "but I'm okay, I don't need help" tears ran down my face as I saw them both staring at me.

"Come on Tamz you obviously do"

"But I don't" I pulled myself out of the wheel chair and forced my way past them, then made my way outside and in to a taxi.

"Where too?" the driver asked not even noticing I was in a dressing gown.

"Away… far far away"

"Well I have a place that's far away if you want to go there?"

"Okay" I never though before speaking and the taxi set off with me in the back going somewhere I had never been and never would want to be, but I didn't know this yet!

To Be Continued! Please review!


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter Twenty Two**

The drive was long and the taxi driver was silent. I kept looking out of the window trying to recognise signs but I didn't because we wasn't in Holby anymore and I'd never lived anywhere but Holby.

Then I noticed the taxi driver looking at me through the rear view mirror "so what's your name?" I didn't know whether to answer him or not but I thought I may as well, not like he could do much with a first name.

"Tamzin, what about you?" If he knew my name then I wanted to know his!

"Jayden but everyone calls me Death" I looked confused as he said Death, was he in a rock band? Or did he do things to hurt people?

"Nice" I turned looking out of the window again and the journey continued in silence.

"Right Kitty we are here" I looked at the man confused, he called me Kitty.

"Why are you calling me Kitty?"

"Because that's going to be your name while you live here" he looked evil as he said this, a look that I knew would stay with me for a very long time if not forever!

"I don't like that name and I don't want to stay here anymore though" I could feel my eyes welling up, what had I led myself in to?

"Well that's tough" he said as he stepped out of the car and opened the door my seat was next to "get out"

I obeyed and stepped out, the area was rough and it was worse than Farmead!

"Don't even think of running" he said noticing me look around the area.

"Oy boss, is this the one?" a man said appearing from a house the taxi was parked in front of.

"Yeah, take her in to room 3 please her first client should be here soon" he replied.

I froze, I had been brought here to sell and no one knew where I was to come and help me.

"I'M NOT GOING" I shouted as I felt fear fill my body.

"Think again" the man grabbed me and carried me inside, I tried to kick him but that didn't work and neither did screaming.

They took me to a room on the bottom floor with the number 3 carved on the door.

"Right you will be having a trial with a new client today so do as he says and you might get some food!"

He opened the door and threw me inside then bolted the door behind himself. I landed on my arm as I fell and it hurt like mad but it wasn't broken just bruised.

I was just standing myself up when a man entered "hello, so you are the one they call Kitten"

"No… please" I backed up against the wall but the man moved forward.

"Just keep me happy and I won't hurt you… much" he took another step forward.

"But I don't want to" I was panicking and my heart was racing as his dark eyes stayed focused on mine.

"Tough" he lunged himself at me and forced me to the ground throwing himself on top of me and undoing my dressing gown.

I just lay helpless and I thought 'the sooner it's started the sooner it ends!' I was right, he did what he wanted and hurt me a few times but then got up off me and left me laid on the floor with tears running down my face.

To Be Continued! Please Review!


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter Twenty Three**

"I will be back for more tomorrow" he laughed.

I just looked back as felt pain everywhere!

"Good bye Kitty" he shut the door and I heard it lock on the other side.

I had well and truly messed up. I had made some bad choices and mistakes in life but this was the worst by far!

It wasn't long before the man who forced me inside appeared "you need to come for your clothes change!" I looked confused.

"What clothes?"

"Some we have for you" he walked over and pulled my wrist out attaching a handcuff then did the dame with my other wrist "don't want you doing a runner now do we?"

He led me out of the room and up some stairs and in to a small room what was full of old and smelly clothes.

"You need something tight" he picked up a thong and a bra then threw them at me before undoing the hand cuffs "get changed and leave your other clothes here"

I took my dressing gown off and then the gown.

"Wait… what's that bandage?"

"I had a baby… C section"

"Right" he pulled the clothes off me and pulled out a nurse's costume.

"Do I have to?"

"YES" a voice from behind me said… it was Death.

I took the costume off him and put it on; both men stood looking at me.

"Well if she's wearing this then she can do the pole dancing for big groups" Death said as he put his hands on my hips making me flinch a little.

"When is she having her tattoo?" the other man asked.

"Now… I will take her and you get Pinkie in room 2 ready for her next client" he said Pinkie so I wasn't the only one here being used, but how long had the other girls been here?

"Right let's get you upstairs" Death took my hand and led me up some more stairs to the attic "can Kitty have her tattoo now?" he asked looking to a man who had a chair set up with straps on it.

"Sure, what number is she?" he replied.

"262" he took me over and forced me to lie on the bed then strapped me on to it rather tightly.

"Great" the man pulled out a pen like thing and stood over my leg, he touched it to my skin making me scream.

"SHUT UP" Death said as he shoved a rag of cloth in my mouth.

The man continued and finished after an hour, I now had the number 262 tattooed on my leg in huge writing.

"Let's keep her on this bed for now; she might try to do a runner considering it's her first night!" Death said as the other man stood in the door way.

"Sounds good, then I can do the other leg tomorrow" I was going to have the other leg tattooed too and that man was coming back for more!

The two men left the room turning the lights off as they did and leaving me strapped to the bed.

To Be Continued! Please Review!


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter Twenty Four**

I didn't sleep at all that night; I had numerous panic attacks and could hear the other girls screaming! It was the early morning and the tattoo man returned and did the tattoo on my other leg.

Death entered the room "is she done for tattoos now? Her client is here and he wants to see her now!"

"Sure is boss" the man undid the straps which had made huge marks on my body and they stung too!

Death took me to a different room; it had a mattress on the floor so at least I would be comfier while the client.

"In here Mr Pie" Death said as he threw me on to the mattress and 'Mr Pie' entered.

"Hello again, I have a double session booked today!" he said as Death left the room.

He did what he wanted for double the time then left. I cried for a bit and then calmed myself a little and noticed the room had a window, it had been blocked with wood but it was thin so a big pull would get it off and me out! I waited until I was sure no one was near the room and pulled at the wood, it instantly came of revealing the sun which I had missed so much! I opened it and climbed out, there was a drain on the wall so I balanced myself with one arm holding the drain and the other the window.

"WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE?" It was Death; he had heard the noise and was unlocking the door!

If I was going to escape then I had to slide down the drain pipe! I closed my eyes and flung my other arm around it just as he opened the door.

I could hear his shouting to the other men in the house "GET HER NOW!"

But it was too late for him; I had safely reached the ground and was running up the road!

"COME BACK HERE" a man shouted as he chased me up the road.

Luckily I was too fast for him; going to the gym really did pay off! I made it to a main road with lots of people… decent looking people.

"Help me please" I cried to a kind looking lady.

"What's wrong?" she asked taking me to the side of the pavement, looking confused by the nurse's uniform.

"I need help"

"Okay but tell me what's wrong?"

"They did things to me" I pointed to the road I came out off.

The woman looked horrified "come with me" she led me to a small bungalow which I was a little wary of entering but I did as she seemed to be nice.

"I am going to phone the police and get them to come sweetheart, take a seat"

I sat on her small sofa and looked around.

"Here, wrap this around you" she handed me a blanket then walked in to the other room with her phone.

I could tell she was nice; she gave me a blanket, took me inside and most importantly phoned the police!

She entered the room a few minutes later "the police are coming now" she then came and sat next to me.

"Thank you" I whispered.

"It's okay, are you hungry?"

"Yeah" I wasn't just hungry, I was starving!

"Okay, one minute" she left the room and then returned with a sandwich "here, I was going to have it for tea but you can have it"

"It's okay, you have it" I felt mean taking her tea.

"No, you have this and I will make a new one" she put the plate on my lap and I took a few bites then gave up.

"Sorry, my appetite isn't too good at the moment"

"That's fine, I'd be the same if I was you!" she took the plate in to the kitchen then there was a knock at the door so she answered revealing the police.

"Hello, we were called over?" one of the officers said.

"Yes, I found this lady on the street and she said she has been sexually abused" I was shaking at the thought of having to explain everything!

"Okay, may we come in?"

"Sure" the lady let the officers in and they sat on the other sofa opposite me.

"I am Sargent Melinda-Mae Cartwright but you can call me Mae for short" the female officer said.

"And I am Sargent King" the male officer said looking a little strict.

"I want to go home" I whispered looking at the ground.

"We know but we need to talk to you first. Can I ask what your name is?" Mae asked.

"Tamzin…" I lifted my head a little "Tamzin Bayle"

"Okay Tamzin what did they do to you?" Sargent King asked with no sympathy in his voice.

"They… they forced me to have sex with them" I whimpered as a tear fell from my face.

"Okay, where do you live sweetie?" Mae asked.

"Holby City" Mae nodded.

"Is there someone we can contact for you?"

I nodded "Sam Nicholls, she works at Holby City hospital"

"Okay, Sargent King please can you get on to the station and get her details and we will need to take her to the hospital to be checked over" Mae said as she stood up.

"I don't want to go to hospital though" I said lowering my head again.

"You really need checking out… what if we take you to Holby City hospital instead of St James' if you want?"

I nodded and Mae helped me to stand up.

"Right Sargent King you can drive and I will go in the back with Tamzin" we went outside and the woman who took me inside waved us off.

The journey was silent and awkward but it was better than being in that house with those men!

"Right Mae we are here" Sargent King said pulling up outside the ED.

I was scared, how would this go… hi everyone I have come here after being raped and need checking over!

To Be Continued! Please Review!


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter Twenty Five**

Sargent King went and got a wheel chair from outside the ED and brought to the car door.

"Here you go" he helped me in to it as I was a little unsteady on my feet after everything that had happened.

He pushed me through the ED doors and everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at me.

"Tamzin" Sam ran over as soon and she saw me "cubicle 2" Sargent King wheeled me to the cubicle then both police officers sat in reception waiting until Sam said I was ready to talk.

"Sam… I'm so sorry" I said with a tear rolling down my cheek.

"It's okay" Sam hugged me then stopped "where did you go?"

"I don't want to talk about it" I didn't want to tell Sam that I had been raped because I didn't want her to blame herself for any of the things that happened… after all none of it was her fault.

"Well you need to tell someone so it's me or the police!" Sam sounded serious and she was making a good point, she was the one I'd choose to tell.

"I got in a taxi outside and he took me to this house and…" I gasped in between crying "a man there raped me twice and they tattooed my legs"

Sam stood frozen, her eyes watered as the things that had happened were sinking in "okay, can I see your legs?"

I nodded and she lifted the blanket and gasped, I knew it wouldn't look nice but I would have to live with them.

"I think I need someone to help me treat you… I'll be one second" Sam started walking.

"Sam wait… get Jeff, I know he's a paramedic but I want him" Sam nodded and ran off closing the cubicles curtain behind her.

A few minutes later she returned with Jeff.

"Tamzin baby, are you ok?" he ran in and flung his arms around me making me wince a little as I still ached all over.

"Fine… where's the baby?"

"He's with Dixie at home, and he's called Zack" I'd always hated that name and I never knew why but looks like I would have to like it now!

"And is he okay?"

"Yeah, but you're not are you princess?"

I shook my head and my eyes started to water "they raped me"

"I know, Sam told me" he continued to hug me.

"I'm sorry Jeff" I hugged him back, it caused me pain but it was worth it!

"You haven't done anything wrong!"

We continued to hug and Sam eventually left to treat other patients. I really did miss Jeff!

To Be Continued! Please Review!


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter Twenty Six**

After we shared a big hug we sat talking.

"Jeff… can I see our son, I mean Zack?"

"Sure, I can get Dixie to bring him if you want?"

"Yeah thanks, you know I still love you" I really did love Jeff but I knew we couldn't be together.

He signed "but I'm in love with Dixie, I know she's a lesbian but I'm with her"

"I know, you are a cute couple. I can get over you though, I will find someone else"

"Okay, are you going to okay coping though?" I knew I wouldn't be but Jeff didn't need to know that.

"I'll be fine, us women are stronger than you think" I gave him a little smile.

"Sure you are, any way I'll go and give Dix a call" he stood up and left then Sam entered.

"Feeling better?"

"Yeah, Jeff's getting Dixie to bring Zack over" I did feel better but still worried that the men would come back to get me.

"Great, now have you got pain anywhere?"

I nodded "my arm, they pushed me and I landed on it but it's not broken just bruised" I held my arm out and Sam examined it.

"Well that is just bruised so you are fine but someone needs to examine your…"

I cut her off "I know, I'll visit my obstetrician"

"Good, well you're going to be kept in for obs but after that you are going to stay with me"

"Thanks Sam… you're a life saver!" I really don't think I would be here now if it wasn't for Sam, she took me in when I kissed Jeff and got kicked out and now she's helping me!

"It's okay, that's what friends are for. I'll just go and get you some pain killers for that arm" Sam left the cubicle.

I laid back and sighed, I had been on one big roller coaster and it hadn't ended yet!

Jeff entered carrying a new, tiny baby is his arms "this is Zack" he said as he handed him to me.

I looked in to his little eyes, stroked his short hair and beeped his little nose.

"He's amazing isn't he?" Jeff said smiling as he saw me bond with my son.

I nodded. I felt like I never wanted to let him go, like he was the thing I would get better for but I knew that I wouldn't be able to keep him after telling Jeff that he was for him and Dixie to be a family.

"Any way we need to get going now, he's starting to get in a routine" Jeff came over and stood next to me "I will bring him for you to see tomorrow" he then took Zack and left.

I wanted my son back; I loved him and had lost him!

""Tamzin, here's your pain killers" Sam gave me a small cup with two tablets in it.

"Thanks" I took them and soon fell asleep leaving Sam to finish her shift.

To Be Continued! Please Review!


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter Twenty Seven**

When I woke up the ED was almost empty and I could see Sam through a gap in the curtain talking with Tom, they looked so happy to be with each other and then I noticed tom had something hidden in his hand. I squinted trying to look closer then I saw him get down on to one knee, Sam's face was one of shock and happiness and everyone was stood around watching.

"Doctor Sam Nicholls, the queen of intubation, I love you with all my heart and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?" Tom opened the small box in his hand and there was a huge ring with a big diamond on it.

Sam just smiled and took the ring out of the box then placed it on her finger "I sure will" Tom jumped up and they hugged each other with all of the ED watching them.

I was so happy for Sam and Tom but worried, if she was going to be marrying him then they would be living together so where would that leave me?

Sam entered my cubicle with Tom behind her "Tamzin… me and Tom and getting married" she held her hand up and showed me the huge ring.

I just said "congratulations" and gave them a little smile.

"I'm moving in with Tom but he has said you can stay with us if you want" I was so relieved when Sam said this!

"Yes please" I said making my smile bigger.

Sam and Tom just laughed then turned facing each other and kissed romantically.

"Sam… have you seen Jeff?" I asked as I really wanted to see him again even though I knew he had gone to keep Zack's routine.

"No sorry, I think they left but I can call him if you want?" I knew that was coming he's gone and I knew he had but I wanted to see Zack!

"It's okay, best to stay out of his life" I didn't want to stay away from Jeff or Zack but it seemed like that was the way things would be.

"Well you don't have to if you don't want to, you can see him if you want plus he has Zack so you need to see him to sort out when you have him" did Sam say sort out when I could have Zack!?

"Can I have Jack then?"

"Tamzin, I meant you share him. You have him a few days then Jeff does" words couldn't describe how stupid I felt.

"Okay, thanks" I turned on my side and dosed off leaving Sam and Tom to finish working.

To Be Continued! Please Review!


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter Twenty Eight**

When I awoke again Jeff was there "Jeff… why are you here?"

"I thought you might want to see Zack"

"Yeah I do but you were only here a few hours ago" I was so confused, I had only seen then a little bit ago.

"No, that was yesterday"

"What, I slept that long!" I thought I had slept for about 2 hours not 10!

"Yeah princess, here's your baby boy" Jeff carefully lifted Zack in to my arms.

I felt the connection me and Zack instantly had!

"How long is he staying for?" I wanted to keep him forever but I knew this wasn't possible.

"He is with you until tomorrow then I will pick him up from Sam's house" did he just say I could keep him over night?

"Oh so his routine doesn't matter anymore?" oops… did I just say that?!

"What?" Jeff's face turned angry.

Oh no, what should I say 'yep that's right I went there' or 'nothing… just thanks' I really wanted to repeat myself but knew that would ruin things so replied "nothing, thanks"

"That's what I though!" his face still didn't look happy and I wasn't happy with his reply.

"Don't talk to me like that Jeffery!" I was now also mad!

"SCUSE ME" his voice got louder.

So did mine "GET OUT YOU STUPID BASTARD!"

"NO YOU STUPID WHORE!"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" I was fuming that idiot!

"A WHORE, A BITCH, A SLAG, A TRAMP AND FINALLY A MOTHER FUKA!"

"TWO CAN PLAY AT THAT GAME! YOU DICK HEAD, YOU BASTARD, YOU TURD FACE!" okay the last one didn't sound too good but hey, I was stuck for insults!

"GIVE ME ZACK!" Jeff walked over and tried to pull him out of my arms.

I screamed hoping someone would come in and stop him from taking my baby!

"Tamzin, what's wrong?" it was Sam!

"He's trying to take Zack!" I was sure she would take my side.

"HE IS MINE!"

"Jeff, get off him and leave now!" Sam demanded, woo she stuck up for me!

"But he is mine!" Jeff's voice quietened a little.

"I don't care, you are being aggressive go cool down" Sam sent him out then left me with my baby.

It may seem like things were over but I know they aren't, Jeff has a lot more to come from me and he is not taking my baby that easily!

To Be Continued! Please Review! Lots of swearing I know but I found it funny to write!


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter Twenty Nine**

I hugged Zack, his eyes were beautiful and blue like mine but he had Jeff's mouth and nose!

Sam entered "what's going on with you and Jeff?"

I looked up "nothing much, just a minor disagreement" I didn't want Sam knowing I was going to get Zack back so I never gave much away.

"Didn't look minor"

"Well it was!" I snapped a little at Sam as I hated her not believing me, even though I was lying!

"Okay" Sam widened her eyes showing her suspicion.

I continued to look down at Zack as Sam looked through my notes "when can I go?"

"Soon… just need to keep you for a few more hours because you're a little tacki"

I sighed because I was sick of this place, full of ill and annoying people who just want to know everything!

"Don't worry, time will go faster if you play with Zack" Sam gave me a quick smile then placed my notes back and left.

It was my chance! Me and Zack were left alone so I could go, do a runner, keep my baby forever! I carefully got out of bed and turned the machines off then unhooked myself and placed Zack in the car seat then left with the car seat in hand! I carefully made my way outside by sneaking through empty cubicles until I reached a fire exit then I got outside!

"Look Zack, we can be together forever!" I said smiling in to the car seat.

He gurgled back and gave a little smile making me chuckle as I knew he was too young to smile so it must have been wind! I then saw Sam and Tom hiding at the back of the building, they were kissing and Toms hand was… you know, somewhere it shouldn't have been! I quickly ran so I was out of sight then sighed with relief but I was too quick to sigh because I wasn't out of trouble, Zack started to cry!

"It's okay baby, mummy's here!" I tried to quieten him but failed.

"Who's there?" Tom shouted as I started to hear footsteps.

I grabbed the car seat and ran again but Zack was still crying, again I heard Tom shouting but Sam was joining in now! I carefully placed the baby chair down and blew Zack a kiss then ran!

To Be Continued! Please Review!


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter Thirty**

I reached the front of the hospital and saw the stairs leading to the emergency exit! If I got up there I could jump off and be gone, my shitty life be over! I ran as fast as I could to the bottom of the steps then looked up, it was high but it was my escape route! I climbed to the top then saw Sam appear from where I ran, she had followed me and Tom had stayed with Zack!

"Tamzin, come down!" she shouted trying to act like she wasn't terrified.

I ignored her and stepped on to the barrier, people started to gather at the bottom then Jeff burst through the doors at the top of the steps.

"Please don't do this Tamzin" he said stepping a little closer.

"Good bye Jeff, I love you" I released my grip and fell!

When I reached the ground my world went black and I had reached heaven, I could now be happy and spend my times watching Zack and making sure he stayed happy. I could also watch Jeff read the letter I had left in my will to him.

The letter

_'Dear Jeff (of as Dixie calls you when she's mad at you Jeffery!)_

_I am sorry if you are reading this while I'm young and have died in a horrid way like on a shout by getting too involved or falling down a home or if you're reading this because I ended my life but things happen and when the time is right death comes!_

_I hope you take everything of mine and keep it (even my shoes!) and take the best care of them! I don't want any of my stuff being binned because you can give it away to friends or a charity shop so nothing goes to waste!_

_I want you to have my fish that you may have seen at my house before, he is called Jeff after you and I only named him that because he swam in to the side of the fish tank and seemed a little clumsy like you but also incredibly cute!_

_I will go serious now, after all this is meant to be about me dying! I left this world and will now be on mars with all my alien buddies! Okay sorry… you know I can't do serious!_

_I will miss you and everyone no matter how I died, if I died hating you then believe me I will love you now no matter what you have done for me not to like you!_

_Any way must dash off to heaven!_

_Love you,_

_Tamzin Bayle aka one of Jesus' disciples!'_

Jeff put the letter down on the table and sighed "she is… was one crazy girl!" he smiled a little then walked over to a crib where Zack lay sleeping, he stroked Zack's soft hair "you know your mummy was one amazing person, she saved lots of people's lives and forgave people when they did stupid things, she is amazing!" when I heard Jeff say this I knew my soul had forgave him and that I could watch him and Zack live happily with Dixie until the day they joined me!

The End.

Hope everyone enjoyed this roller-coaster of a story! Please let me know what you thought of the whole thing and I will love to hear any criticism! :)


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